bohor: (Lambs)
[personal profile] bohor
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Well, I don't consider it "serious", but my parole officer gets all pissy when I don't call.
02) What was your dream growing up? Which one, the one where I got stabbed by the Hamburglar or the weird one?
03) What talent do you wish you had? I wish I could pay attention.
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be? A first.
05) Favorite vegetable? Utah.
06) What was the last book you read? DSM-IV.
07) What zodiac sign are you? Arise! Or something. I don't pay attention to that hippy bullshit.
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where. Um...I'll need one of those dolls they give to children in courtrooms.
09) Worst Habit? Procrastination. It used to be whores and blow, but my procrastination has gotten worse lately.
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride? Only if you can fit in the trunk with the others.
11) What is your favorite sport? Football. I'm a Buffalo Bills fan, so there's not a fucking thing I can say here that will be the least bit amusing.
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? Yes. But it's really cool 'cause they're super-duper close to finding the meds that'll stop that, but given the track record of those lying assholes I'm just going to go shave my neck with a lawnmower.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Eh, probably the first hour would be polite conversation. Then I'd probably start with the meat around your shoulder. After the carcass started to smell, I'd probably turn the switch back to "Run".
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you? Some asshole got blood on my shirt while we were stuck in an elevator.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you. OK, I'll admit... I knew it was a cop. C'mon, I'm not a moron - even if he could type that quickly and had such perfect grammar, why would the Hamburglar hang out on a Buffalo Bills chat site?
16) Do you have any pets? Yes. He doesn't know it yet, but yes, yes, indeed I do.
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly? Remind you that the 200 yards doesn't apply if you approach me.
18) What was your first impression of me? That time on Amazon when I used your Amex.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Ugh...there's just something wrong with those people. They're like disfigured versions of the Hamburglar that I could probably pay one to come to my house.
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd make myself pretty, oh so pretty! ... Yeah, that's RIGHT. Pretty. ... I'd be really fucking PRETTY, and then you'd all be sorry. You'd all be very, VERY sorry.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience? Partner pays better, but I generally don't have to dig a hole after being somebody's conscience.
22) What color eyes do you have? Whatever you need. I can give you a deal if you don't need a matching pair.
23) Ever been arrested? Not successfully.
24) Bottle or can soda? Not successfully. I'm good at getting it out, though.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? I'd put out a hit on the Hamburglar.
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at? 200 yards from elevators and McDonalds.
27) Do you believe in ghosts? Wh...wha... NO. No, I do NOT BELIEVE IN GHOSTS. I...wh...what did those little white fuckers tell you?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? I like to carve shivs out of Happy Meal toys.
29) Do you swear a lot? Yeah, they require it before you're allowed to testify. Those fucks.
30) Biggest pet peeve? Questionnaires.
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself? Misunderstood.
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance? As long as I don't have to pay extra.
33) Favorite and least favorite food? Happy Meals / Elevator leftovers.
34) Do you believe in God? Of course, he's at my group sessions. Used to be three of him, actually, but then they found an old box of Haldol.
35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? I thought I just did. Wait, who is this?
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December 2010

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